I have gone MOBILE!

Actually, the blog has gone mobile.

I just added the Mobile Plug-in, which allows me to view the website, edit, and comment all on a mobile device. So any of my bloggy friends that use mobile devices, let me know if my site is not viewable in mobile format, and I can see about getting it added.

In other news, not much has been going on besides attitudes and fights. But that is all for another entry.

For this entry, I want to just write about something I have noticed Derric doing lately. …

See, Derric will pull at his finger nails until one splits, and he can pull it up. Like a partially cut off nail. He than, when flustered, will flick the loose nail next to his ear.

Example.

Kauchana is collecting boxes for her big project, a Museum of Me. She collected a good sized box and Derric kept wanting to climb in and play in it. I told him no, but he wouldn’t stop, so I snapped at him. Mostly because he hasn’t been listening all day, and partly because I was doing other things, and maneuvering around the other kids. So I snapped and told him to stop.

He backed off and started flicking his loose nail. He stayed there for a few minutes just listening to his nail flick.

He has been doing this a lot lately. I tend to cut the loose nail once I see it, and he never liked that. Sometimes he would come up to me to have me cut a nail, but mostly he keeps them loose and flicks them.

He has also started to chew really bad. He chewed a bit during the winter last year, actually chewing the zipper from his winter jacket. So his sensory therapist got him a chew tube. Once they came in, he had stopped chewing as much and wasn’t interested in the chew tubes. The one that came home with him last year got put away and forgotten. A week before school, while I was cleaning and reorganizing things, he had found it and started chewing it. It has gone to school with him pretty much everyday for the past three weeks. We have two, both were at school, until Open House, then they both came home for some reason. One got missed place, so we are back down to one, and that is getting worn out. They were supposed to be good for several months of chewing, and in one month, he has it almost ready to break.

I am also trying to figure out how to get him to do his homework and still fit in a nap. Today he got his first homework packet. Complete with what worksheet to do on what day.

I had him sit down and work on writing his spelling words. He kept whining and writing all over the place. He insisted that the letter “t” looked like a 6 with a line through it. He knows that is not how the letters are written, but he wouldn’t write them correctly. His fussing got really bad that I just stopped and put him down for a nap. He fussed long enough for me to dial a friend and have her pick up. He was out fast. And he slept long and hard. He slept a good hour and forty-five minutes. I know that if I had him nap before doing his homework, I would probably get a little more work from him, but normally, by the time he wakes up, it is supper time, then bed routine time…

He is still very much in need of his naps. I honestly wonder if he will ever get out of nap time. Xavier was the longest to nap, but by mid Kindergarten, he was out of them.. And here Derric is, napping all the way to first grade. And getting this kid to learn to spell… Oh man this will be interesting! I know he can do it, but I just don’t think I can.

Well, this has rambled long enough. Think I will just call it a day. I need supper myself and I need to get little man to bed. But first, reading time.

Tuesday, the 10th was Derric’s last day of school. His school program ran Mon, Tues, Thurs, and Fri. So he went Monday, and it was a fight to get him to stay. Not sure what the problem was, but he just wasn’t having it. He came home in a better mood. Tuesday, he couldn’t wait to get to school. Wednesday, there was no school. Because he does afternoon classes, he probably could have gone to school today, but it is early out day, and on early out days, he has no school. So Tuesday was his last day of school.

(more…)

We are settled into the house. While waiting for stuff, we have spent alot of family time. It has been nice not having the kids fuss because they aren’t allowed to zone infront of a tv, since there was no tv, out of sight, out of mind lol.

(more…)

Life has been doing ok. Lots of many different things going on. As of now, Thanksgiving is on hold until Friday, but then, we will know for a fact by Thursday evening. I did come to find out I am not allowed to vent about this TDY because others have it so much worse…. But what many don’t seem to understand, I don’t care that he is gone. Yes, I miss him, yes the kids miss him, but in truth, if this TDY was planned a little better, I wouldn’t honestly care about him going on it.. But, in case anyone cares, I am ONLY pissed about the under planning….

Now that I got that off my chest, Dokota’s medical has been given a clear bill of health. He does have a follow up for his follow up in about a month.

I would love to say life has started to get back to normal, but in truth, we are sitting on edge. It seems everytime we start to enter the normal phase, the weekend hits, Jen calls, and life gets thrown out of wack again. Dokota did ask on Monday just how many more times she will be calling.. I asked what he meant, and this is a basic version of the conversation:

Dokota: Is Jennifer going to call this weekend?

Me: Who?

Dokota: Jennifer

Me: Why?

Dokota: Well, when she called last Sunday, she wanted to know Christmas ideas for lists. I told her we don’t start thinking of that until after Thanksgiving. So she said she would just have to call next Sunday.

Me: Oh, ok.

Dokota: So, do you think Jennifer will call next Sunday?

Me: Don’t know.

I will admit, it was interesting conversation. Normally, when he talks to me about her, he always calls her “my other mom” or “mommy” or “my real mom”, never has he called her by name. He started this when he was talking to Kevin. Kevin had called while I was on the phone with her. The kids had informed her Kevin was gone, so the kirt attitude I got when I answered the phone before she talked to the kids, was gone, and it was like we were best buddies… So, since Kevin was gone, she had to make sure I was ok. Well, as I was explaining it wasn’t that bad, Kevin called with an update on his TDY. Unable to talk to two people at once, I handed Dokota my cell and he was talking to Kevin.

Kevin said he was getting confused as he was talking about both of us, so to make things easier, he chose to call her Jennifer instead of calling me by name… I honestly didn’t believe Kevin when he told me that… Then the conversation on Monday… Wow…

Jumping to a new topic…

My site has finished the move around. Old files have been deleted, new ones just about completed. The family site is done, except for one element. I need help with one module, but I am checking with my my tech support to see if the problem I suspect is true. But I am happy the family site is back up and running… Yay me! lol

Ok, my rambling is going on too long… There really isn’t that much going on. My house is no where near ready for Thanksgiving… I can’t get the kids to pick up stuff they have been picking up daily for the past 5 years…. Getting a house ready for Thanksgiving isn’t my main priority… Just getting supper dishes, school bags, coats, and shoes up is my main concern right now.

Oh, one more random thought. Which mom is mommy? Kauchana has been going around saying she is a “Mommy’s Girl”. But she has me confused. She calls me mom. She calls Jen mommy. But every time she says she is a mommy’s girl, she is hanging on me, telling me she loves me, how she is proud to be a mommy’s girl. She has me beyond confused…

Ok, last random thought done. Going to go now.

Things haven’t been the best for me lately. It seems since getting told we would be moving to Germany, it seems like it has been one thing after another.

We were very pleased that Kevin’s ex agreed, signed, and sent the papers for the kids to get their passports to go to Germany with little delay. We were actually very surprised how fast that happened. But since telling his ex about us moving, she has picked up her phone calls, which are to be understood. It has just left the kids feeling very confused. Instead of one phone call a year per, we are now up to three calls this year per. I think it is great she is finally taking interest in the kids, I just worry how the kids are processing it. They are not used to this much contact from her.

Another thing that will leave the kids in a spin and has been the source of much meditation, crying, and talking, she has stated she will be out to visit the kids for about a week and a half at the end of October into November. So far the kids do not know, we are waiting until time is closer to her arrival, that way they wont have the build up and then a huge disappointment if for some reason she doesn’t make it. She has stated many, many, many times that she would be out to see the kids, even talked twice of picking them up for a month or so. Every time, something made it fall through, mostly her giving us a two week notice to raise over $400 or more to pay for the trip. Or her just not being able to make it out or a change of her mind. There have been many reasons. So, with it being a month away, we decided to say nothing until a week out from when she is to arrive, and even then tell the kids in a kinda way, not saying it will be definite, but possible, something to let them grasp their minds around. When we inform them about her coming out, we will also be setting some very solid ground rules.

Mostly as follows, though we are still working on minor kinks.

• 1. Kids will not be checked out of school at any time unless it is a medical reason.
• 2. Kids will come straight home to work on their homework. They will have a “stop” time, I will not require homework to be completely finished by that time, but a pretty good dent, with neatness and honest hard work. We are still discussing just what that stop time will be.
• 3. Kids will be home by 8 at night to shower, finish homework, and get ready for school the next day.
• 4. The ONLY nights the kids can spend the night with her will be on Friday and Saturday, but ultimately will be left up to them if they want both or only one night.

We are stuck on a pondery. I want to keep my house neutral. I want my house to stay normal for me, Derric, and the kids. Which means, I really do not want her to “hang out” here. After having talked with Dokota many times, I do not think I could keep the tension out of the air in this house if she were to just “hang out” here. But how do we go about telling someone who has never been to this state, let alone this town, that knows nothing about the place, to stay away from my house without looking like the bad guys? I would prefer that if they just want to “hang out” they do it at her hotel room.

I personally don’t like the position she has put me in, and in a way, I say screw it and I will just tell her point blank I don’t want her in my house.

But, I know that wont be the best idea.

Part of the reason I was depressed was, partially in my mind, a selfish reason. When she said mater of factly that she was coming out, I could only think of one thing. Me. My Identity. I felt bad and guilty for those thoughts and wrestled with myself over the course of two days on those thoughts.

In this house, as it has been for the past 5 years, I have been mom. I worried about me, who I would be, when she showed up, demanding her “mom” title back, her “mom” role. What did, would that leave me with? But, after wrestling with it, I came to grips that I need to be the better person, step back, let her be the “Fun Monkey” for the week and a half, I set the house rules. I became very content with that. I am still very content with that. In a way, I am almost now, looking forward to her visit. I have never wanted to keep the kids from her, she just never took the ambition to contact them, we do not know why, and we leave it at that. If she wants to tell the kids, fine. I will slightly hate her for how it hurts the kids that she does that to them, but all in all, I think the visit will be good on a few different levels.

I want to say I have grown, matured a little in the past two days since this all came out. But I know that not to be true, as I look back on things I have written in my paper journal and my private diary. I know I haven’t matured at all, I am still the same, just slightly more calmed.

Besides talking with Kevin more on the ground rules, about how to keep the house neutral, and how we will do Halloween, this is now where it should be, behind me. We still have a long road ahead, preparing both the kids and the schools for her arrival. The schools will need to be contacted, just to let them know that any mood swings or outbursts are to be expected. Xavier got pretty pissy at school after the three day visit over Christmas break a couple years ago, and Kauchana withdrawn. I feel keep the school on the heads up is best. Especially if they get a visitor trying to check them out.

But that is all for now. Sorry this is long, probably one of my more longer posts. But it holds a lot. And any advice would be most welcomed.