4:48pm
Well, I spent more today then I planned, but got a few things taken care of. Went ahead and bough Cody’s glasses today, not bad price. They should be in about mid next week. Also picked up some pants for Cody and Xavier, and a shirt each. If Kevin gets paid by Monday, will take Xavier in to pick out some more shirts.
4:52pm

10:56pm
I definitely don’t see how other people can do it. How do they get past the loneliness? How do they not feel the silence, or miss the presence? Its the worst at night, after the kids are put to bed. I hear sounds that used to just be background noises so much clearer, a car driving by, the neighbor’s garage door, the water fountain. Nothing holds my interest like it used to. I can’t concentrate, the kids (not meaning to) press all the wrong buttons. My creativity is at an all new low. The books on the shelves have no interest. There is never anything good on the t.v. anymore. I can not think of any thing to do on the web besides e-mail. I don’t know why, but I have been finding myself drawn to e-mail. Its not like I am going to get any from Kevin. But still it draws me every couple of mins. It was a good day, the shopping or at least, the getting out. I enjoyed it. I just really don’t want to do it again. I can’t wait for all this snow to be gone. I can’t wait for it to warm up so I can send the kids outside to play. This staying cooped up in the house has been hard on all of us. I want to be able to take the kids to the park and let them just run wild. And to feel the sun again. I hate the sun’s light, but how I love it’s warmth. It will be hard. Buy the time Summer comes, I am supposed to be closing in on eight or seven months pregnant. Yet looking at me now in the mirror, I have gotten a bit bigger, some in my thighs but now really. I still feel like I look like I did when I graduated only two years ago. How funny that sounds. Graduating only two years ago. It was what, seven years ago that Kevin graduated, going on eight, when I am closing in on three. Only five years difference, but still, it feels like a life time. How my mind wanders when I let it. It almost feels good to let it go like this. It gets my mind off what really is bothering me. But even still the dang water fountain is loud. Odd really, seeings how I don’t remember it ever being this loud before. It seems to really picked up in sound. Maybe I should quit the inevitable. It is getting later then I wanted to stay up, I really do hate going to bed alone. I can’t wait for Kevin to come home just so I can wrap my arms around him. I don’t care if he ever carried out his plan for a hotel and just the two of us. Just to have him in my arms again. Well, my writing hand is telling me in the painful way it does that I have written too long. So I shall close here on happy thoughts of nothing.
11:30pm