I have spent the past week moving all my entries from this site. Actually from both sites. There are a lot more that needs to be done before I fully close these sites down, but just wanted to let any of my readers that are still around that I have moved, I will NOT be actively writing here. If you wish to follow me at my new blog, please leave a note here and I will send you an invite. My new blog will be by invite ONLY come this Friday, the 23rd. There are many things I would like to sit and blog about, but as of now I can not. Come Friday I will be posting more on my new blog. For now, I am still working mainly on the transfer.

This will probably be the last post I write here. It will stay up until I have fully moved over and am ready to take this site down.

I sat down this month, with many things on my mind.
I opened my blog website and sat at a new entry screen for hours.
I had just walked through the door after walking the kids to school, and I knew I had many things I wanted to write about. Many feelings I needed to just get out of me. And as I started typing, releasing the thoughts, feelings, and emotions into words, I was feeling better. Yet something itched at me, at the back of my mind. I stopped.
I took the time to reread every word I had typed. I sat back. I thought.
Who would read these words if I clicked the publish button? Who will see what I have written? Will these words come back to bite me in the end?
So I held the backspace button down. I deleted, erasing my thoughts. And I stared at the now blank screen in front of me.
I felt right and wrong all at the same time. Right, because I don’t want to deal with drama. Wrong because this is my space, where I set aside to write my thoughts.
Why did I do that? What made me erase all that I had written?
The Unknown.
Did someone get past my blocks again? Is this person reading my enteries again? Does this person, who can’t seem to let me be, knowing my thoughts again?
How I hate this. How I despise this.
Seven years of this and I still let it effect me. Why?
Because I don’t like this unknown. I don’t like not knowing. It is hard to track her when so many good friends live in the same area as her. So how do I know she hasn’t gotten around my blocks? I don’t. And that scares me.
So after closing the window, closing forever the entry that got me thinking, I opened a new window, created a new account, and started the process of moving everything over. It will take several days to move several years worth of thoughts, feelings, and emotions. It will take even more days to move everything from the family site also. But in the end, nothing will remain at what has been mine for nine years.
I have let this person run me again from my haven. Seven years of running, and it has now added in giving up something I had bought for myself before I even entered this family. My website. Come January, it will be gone. My server taken down, wiped clean and ready for the next person to come along and make it theirs, with no trace of me having spent nine years there.
I keep telling myself it is for the best. That is money saved. But in all reality, it is nothing more then another run. How many more years will I run? How many more will I keep hiding? When will I have my place, away from all of the fear of this one person getting in and ruining my haven yet again?

I know I haven’t been writing much. Trust me. I haven’t been writing much of anything anywhere. It took me 8 days to write about Derric’s IEP meeting, and there are many minor things I haven’t written about at all. You could almost say I have been in a funk, but that really isn’t the right word either. I just have had a lot on my mind, and thou I would love to write about it all and share with any of my friends that still read here, but I honestly don’t know how secure this area is anymore.

I have been contemplating closing the server and moving over to either wordpress website itself, or blogger. I bought a huge server due to how many pictures I had posted, but now those are all over on snapfish. The only thing still on this website is just this blog and the family blog.  I might look into it in the next couple of months. The $60 I save a month can go to something more useful, like …. oh I have no clue, bills….

I think I just might do that. And anyone interested in still reading me, I would require emails from you so I could invite you to my blog. I honestly think I like the idea of moving it all to blogger. I do wish blogger would hurry up and make an app for the iPhone. Wordpress has one, but blogger doesn’t.

I am rambling. But that is ok. I think this weekend I am going to work on moving everything over. I do need to learn to make blogger designs thou, I do hate the designs they have…

Well, not much else to write about. Please ignore the pity party post. Not a funk, just, how I am honestly feeling right now.

There has been a whole lot of nothing really going on around here.

The kids are well into school.

The house is slowly getting unsummered.

Fall weather is approaching.

And my house is in gear up mode. (another entry, another time)

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To be said 5 times fast:

Blue Black Bugs Blood

Going to bed now, have fun